Candidates Take Break from Campaigns

It seems the other Republican Presidential candidates will follow the lead of Dr. Ben Carson following the New Hampshire primary and take short breaks from their campaigns to return to their homes and attend to mundane personal matters.

• Carly Fiorina will travel to her home in Virginia to get a manicure, floss, and perform various other normal human activities that normally would not be announced by a campaign.
• Jeb Bush will go to Florida to hug his Momma.
• Marco Rubio will fly to Florida to rehearse lines.
• Ted Cruz will make his way to Texas to work on misleading campaign mailers.
• Chris Christie will return to New Jersey to pack large sack lunches for the campaign trail and meet with President Obama for a hug.
• Donald Trump will return to New York to attend to business matters, tweet about winning the Iowa caucus, and demean a doorman.
• John Kasich will head to Ohio to remind everyone he is from Ohio.

Ironically, only Ben Carson will remain on the campaign trail. “I learned my lesson in Iowa,” he said. “It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize I screwed up there.”

The temporary departures will not be limited to the Republican candidates.

• Bernie Sanders will borrow plane fare from a high school staffer to return to Vermont and scold young people for being on his lawn.
• Hillary Clinton plans to travel to New York to rest her screeching voice and eat live puppies.